So I may have mentioned a time or two (dozen) that I have lunch duty this year. Today I was trying to help a first grader with her foil wrapped drink (think Capri Sun). She didn’t have one of those pointy straws you need to push into it, so asked me for a straw.
Me: Well, a regular straw won’t go in, we need something sharp.
Girl next to her: I have a quarter you could use!
Fifth grade has been studying metaphors.
I dedicate the following to my sister, the physician. I get the feeling the point of the adage was somehow lost in translation.
Checking a kindergartener out this afternoon, I stop him before he scans his book.
Me: “The computer says you still have a book out.”
Me: “Do you know where it is?”
Him: “At my house.”
Me: “Do you know where it is at your house?”
Him: “On my toaster.”
I’ve been teaching them to keep books away from food and drink; I just didn’t think it was necessary to teach them to keep from treating books as food and drink.
This morning I’m doing my usual multitasking as I’m checking the fifth graders out: helping students find books, checking books in, sorting books, etc. One of the fifth grade girls looks at my octopus act and launches the following conversation:
Girl: You know what you need?
Girl: One of those little, miniature monkeys that you can train to help you do stuff like that.
Me: Are you saying a trained monkey could do my job?
I laughed all morning.
How do you find your smile? Forget about too much to do. Go out to dinner with your best friend and favorite four-year-old.
Make sure it’s a place where you can eat good food outside. And one that lets the four-year-old play with pizza dough.
Watch her make smiley faces. They’ll be pretty contagious.
She’ll share mustaches with mom.
Don’t forget the goatee.
Let the laughter ensue.
It will be a good evening.
Highlight of the day yesterday: A student got their leg stuck in some playground equipment. Our principal and assistant principal climbed up, freed the student, then – in suits – slid down our two 20 foot slides to the cheers of the other kids. I wish there were photos because it was both hilarious and amazing.
The kindergarteners were throwing lunchboxes in the cafeteria. My fifth grade announcement anchors decided they were comedians. First graders had a pencil fight. Second grade trashed the library.
Camel, I’m really glad to see you!
Almost every class does some sort of “getting to know you” activity and second grade spelling is always amusing. What really caught my eye, though, were what each of these students wanted to get out of the school year.
Last time I checked, conversing with animals and blowing things up weren’t in the Common Core standards. It’s always good to have goals, though.
Actual conversation today with a deadly serious kindergartener:
Student: Did you know I’m from another planet?
Me: [Struggling, but managing a straight face] Really? Which one?
Student: It’s called Krypton.
Me: Well, be careful with those crayons. You don’t want to break them.
Sorry for the week-long absence from cyberspace here. Feeling a little like the old woman who lived in a shoe. We had 700 students at school last year and jumped to 850 this year. With a daily half-hour lunch duty added to my routine and less time at the end of the school day to wrap things up before bus duty I’ve been a little rushed and overwhelmed. (Also I am, as always, suffering the beginning of the year re-entry shock of kindergarteners.) However, I do not like being away from my keyboard, so look for more frequent posts from here on out.